Los Campesinos! - All Your Kayfabe Friends

Well this is slept in the weird position
And your back and your shoulders are aching
I say my stomach is chewing its way out from the inside
'Cause I've gone 3 days now without eating

I died on the crosstrainer getting in shape for you
I failed at the first hurdle, you tell me I always do

You asked if I'd be anyone from history
Fact or fiction, dead or alive
I said I'd be Tony Cascarino, circa 1995

We're feeling so much more content
Knowing where our allegiances lie,
Since our kayfabe friends have upped and left, you and I

The time we spent around each other's waist
The time spent expressing my distaste
With my eyes on the light bulb
I choose to keep your birthday present for myself
The candles, your ill health

I'm being paid 35 pence an hour
As a specialist foot fetish model
Flatten my arches, I pirouette for them
I put the (?) my ingrown toenail

You think you're the needle
That drains the blood donation
You're just a repetition
On an old worn out pincushion

We're feeling so much more content
Knowing where our allegiances lie,
Since our kayfabe friends have upped and left, you and I

As the bus pulls away I stare at the last film
Before we hit the city, that emotional minefield
I seduced your ex-boyfriend, to help you get over him
He found you more attractive, it helped you get over me

We're feeling so much more content
Knowing where our allegiances lie,
Since our kayfabe friends have upped and left, you and I

In the shower, I chew the soap bar
From the plastic, the morning after
I love the look of empty in your eyes
I love the look of lust between your thighs